How to set my NikonD5000 properly?

The last time I used my Nikon was 3 days ago, and I think my brother used it and changed the settings. I'm no pro in using this camera, since it's new and I don't know a lot about photography.
I used it earlier, and every time that I will take a picture of something, it won't focus. Both, Manual, Scene or any settings. And all the photos that I took are blurry and dark. I looked at the settings, but nothing changed (For me. 'Cause I don't know much about the settings yet.). Can you help me with this? How can I set it back properly?

Nikon 40mm micro bad idea for macro?

Is true as Ken Rockwell says that this lens is for anything except macro… Thanks

Why does my cellphone camera make me look sick?

Through a high quality nikon camera i look great but my cellphone camera makes my cheeks look chubby my face looks pale and i look depressed.

its the same for everyone i take a picture of

anyone else like that?

Is there a camera that can go underwater and above water?

I'm looking for a really good camera like a Nikon or a Canon. Ya know good semi professional cameras. Is there one that can go Under and above water. I assume if it can go under water it should work just fine out of water. Does anyone know a camera like this and how much it would cost?

What's a cheap good camera that takes pictures and videos?

I'm in charge of taking pictures and putting them together for a student council scrapbook. I'm in need of a camera but I don't know which on to get. I'm looking for a cheap camera. Under $100 (i'm not sure what camera's cost) I also want it to take video because it will be a virtual scrapbook. Something simple that I can take in my backpack with me and take quick pictures with, must be a digital camera some kind of kodak or nikon?

Kodak or Nikon Camera?

I want a new camera, a fancy one but i can't afford a canon.
I want a camera like this kind: http://www.nikonusa.com/...index.page

So is a Kodak or a Nikon better? Or even a different brand. I want it to take good focused videos and good quality pictures. Any advice?

I don't understaNd why this happens?

I look in the mirror and see myself the same way I do in a webcam or the cam on my phone but then I take a picture with a normal camera(nikon) and I look completely off. For one it makes me a good deal larger everywhere ( including a wider face, waist, etc) people have even told me while my face still looks pretty, alot of pics taken with the cam distort what I really look like? So what gives?
This is making me super self conscious whenever I see a blimp size version of myself in the cam( I know a bit of exageration but how I feel lol) so can someone explain?

Cannon or Nikon Camera?

Should I get the Canon Rebel T3 or a Nikon camera?

Can i take pictures with a kodak digital camera?

I want to be a photographer but i'm still going to buy a real camera a 18-55mm nikon or canon camera
but i have a kodak digital and when i donwload the pictures it looks complete fine like it was taking a real camera
so ican i still use the kodak camrea for taking goodpicturea?

Nikon, Kodak or Sony camera?

I love photography, so I'll be gettin' a new camera soon!
I need your opinions, which camera would you recommend to me?

p.s. I love taking vintage-y pictures, is there any kind of camera which will create that sort of effects?