Can you guys proofread my personal statement, i Need review and harsh criticism please?

Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
"Do the best you can with what you have," is what my mother has always said and coming from a family of dreamers and believers, I have always tried my best to achieve greatness with what my family has given me. Although I come from a poor community, Chinatown, my parents have always supported me in everything I've chosen to do; swimming, community work, volunteering, business proposals, jobs and even chose to move us to a better area to give me more opportunities to succeed. However it wasn't their support that has driven to me to be whom I'm now but their doubts for me. My community, teachers have always been right by my side guiding me to a better future, but my family has done nothing, but yell and doubt my academic achievements.
I come from a little town called Chinatown in Los Angeles. Although I had just lived in this poor community for a few years, it has molded me to who I'm today, a dreamer, an aspirer to be the best I can. Several years ago, as I walked down to my pre-school in Chinatown with my brothers, I noticed that my parents couldn't make it to walk alongside us, to protect us, and nurture us. My parents were always busy with work, and rarely had the time to spend with us. But at that moment I became a changed child, I saw an empty lot in what used to be a restaurant alongside our hill. From that day forward, I have always aimed to become a restaurant owner, one to strive and succeed so that my family can slow down and enjoy their lives. All that has become of them are workers, and the thick skin of financial debt has changed them.
When I was 6, I left the little town of Chinatown and moved to West Covina where I found new passions. Coming to a new city was a changing move at such a young age, but I knew it was for the better, a bigger better new house with a swimming pool in the backyard was a dream coming from a tiny one room apartment. Here, I took the time to meet my neighbors, make new friends, and get to know my teachers and all of them have molded me into who I'm today. One teacher is and always will be in my mind because of what she said, just 4 simple words changed my dreams and aspirations and added on Computer Sciences. Back in the 5th grade, we had a typing class to teach us the correct way to type and this was where my teacher always said, "you're great at this." Finding I had a talent for computers made me strive to get better at it and that teacher was the base of it all. I took the time to read manuals, figure out programming, and use the command prompt, and now I'm applying those skills to an AP Computer Sciences course I'm taking at school, except this is not the only new passion I have come to find.
My life has always been lived in fast forward and never slowed down because of my family expediency and our choice to not live life in its moments, but skip over them; however my family may choose to be, I'd like to capture the moments so that it'll be forever with me. I come from a family of worries and doubt, but when those few moments of happiness arise I pursue to capture those moments on camera. At a very young age, I was exposed to the DSLR camera from my uncle who used to be a photographer, but retiring from it because of his old age he gave me his. From that point on, I have learned the professional ways of using his camera and even got a new one just for myself. My new Nikon D40x is emotionally attached to me and so is photography. Photography has been in my family for generations and learning it at such a young age, it has been programmed into my core and becoming a professional would be a dream.
Although my family may support me in all I choose to do such as pursuing a restaurant, computer sciences, and photography, they support with doubt. Countless hours have been spent yelling in my family. Arguments soar high and doubt flies alongside it. My family has always given me the chance to do anything I've wanted to, however their hope was always accompanied by a crushing hesitation, but their doubts motivate me to show them that I can achieve greatness. With my passions for all of these fields, I see that your school is one of the leading universities in the majors I would love to take and I hope you will give me the privilege of attending your fine institution.

You have some good ideas, but your essay is rambling and too long. Try to tighten it up. You are also very negative about your family when in reality your success probably was due to the continual need to prove yourself.

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