Help in purchasing a camera?

I've been saving up for well over a year now and I'm going to be buying a nikon d5100 within this next week.
There's one I'm looking at that includes the shoulder bag, a 4gb memory card, a 18-55mmVR lens and a 55-300mmVR lens going for 1200 dollars. Is that a deal? What are the essential lenses for this nikon?
There's another one going for 800 (plus tax) dollars including the 18-55 kit lens. With a coupon for 200 dollars of a 70-300 lens and 150 off a 55-300 with purchase of the camera.
I'd probably buy extra warranty on top of both of these cameras, as the stores only cover 45 days for themselves and a year with Nikon. But which works out at the better deal?
I have to be realistic with money, as my dad said he would cover the excess costs, as long as I'm getting my money's worth.
Is it worth buying the first one with the bag, dvd, guide and memory card?
Are they all essentials? Would it be cheaper to buy them separately?
Which lenses are the best for a beginner/ I'm going to be taking pictures of practically everything to start with. A lot of children, landscapes, and portraits and creative ones.

I think I would go for the first deal, you will get a good system at a good price.
There are other things you may want, I would consider it worthwhile to get skylight filters for the lenses to protect the front element.
A tripod will also be useful for some shots, particularly at high zoom settings.
Another useful bit of kit is a copy stand for copying documents or artwork, I would say it is not worth getting a new copystand, there are usually plenty of old enlargers on Ebay that are easy(with basic machine shop skills) to convert to a copystand.
I would also think about getting some studio flash lighting with stands, this is not expensive now and there's plenty on ebay.

Kits often overcharge for accessories. In my opinion you'd better start with an 8gb card, some sort of bag, a rocket blower and a microfiber cloth.

Get to grips with that, learn to use it. When you discover what the 18-55 doesn't do it's time to go shopping again.