What lens to choose from?

I'm upgrading from a 18-55mm lens i have a d5100

i have 3 options on what i want to get

Nikon 85mm f/3.5G - macro shots of flowers, butterflies, nature
Nikkor 70-300mm f/4.5- the zoo, wildlife, nature, landscape?
35mm 1.4 -portrait, regular lens for everyday needs

Karen heart smiley face, what types of photography do you do the most? Without knmowing i will say get the 35mm.myself i do alot of macro so i would get the 85mm

Those are all good choices. Like mentioned, it depends on what you shoot the most. You know what the uses are for each so decide which you want to use the most.

Well, you know what you'd use each for. Now you have to ask yourself, which is the direction that you want to go?
Personally, I'd go with the 35mm 1.4. I love portraiture, and it's a fast lens.

I doubt you mean the 35mm f1.4, it's more expensive than the first two together and then some.

You know what they are for except that shooting portaits with a 35mm leads to a lot of wide angle distortion, big noses, that kinda thing.

Your decision what you enjoy the most.

Assuming your camera has a crop factor of 1.5, a 35mm lens will be like a 50mm lens. That's fine for portraits - you won't get "distortion" or "big noses" (at least not in the way you would if you used a full frame camera).

I use my 50mm lens for portraits with my film cameras all the time and people look fine.

That said, you already have a lens for everyday needs - it's called the 18-55mm lens. If you want something for low light (and no flash), then yeah, an f1.4 lens would do nicely.

My take anywhere lenses are my 18-55mm and my 70-300mm. Not fancy, but I can take pictures of almost everything with these two lenses. Eventually I plan on getting a prime lens.

Upgrading? The 18-55mm is a perfectly acceptable piece of glass with a focal range that covers the vast majority of subjects. If I were me, I'd ask myself how I feel this lens constrains my photography, and then I'd buy accordingly. Perhaps the build quality is not rugged enough for my ventures off the beaten path. Maybe I need better low light handheld performance (meaning a larger aperture). Maybe I need a wider focal length for sweeping landscapes, or a longer focal length to get that shot of a skittish deer. Maybe I want a thin pancake lens to make my system smaller and lighter, meaning I'd carry it more.

Personally, my answer would be the variable aperture. Having my f/# change by focal length is simply obnoxious to me, it slows me down and makes shooting less enjoyable. So to remedy this, I would buy a constant-aperture standard zoom, like the Tamron 17-50mm f/2.8. Now, I don't know what your answer is, maybe you couldn't care less about the variable aperture but you find your photos suffering from slow shutter speeds in low light. Whatever constrains your photographic ability, that is what you should upgrade.

As for those lenses, all are capable of brilliant, awe-inspiring photos in the right hands. As is your current lens, and virtually every other lens on the market today.