Nikon d3000 auto and auto flash problems

Beyond my general comprehension of auto and auto flash settings, i can't get my camera to take pictures in auto focus mode or auto flash. Even when it is in manual mode, the flash will not work.
again, i understand majority of the general settings and how to operate it, but either there's something wrong with the camera, or i or a friend may have messed with the settings and it is no longer working.
i'm not really savvy with this camera stuff so if you have any answers that may be useful, please try to explain them to me as if i were in kindergarten, 10pts best.

1) if it is too dark to auto-focus, you must tell your camera via the cameras menu to use the "focus assist" if necessary. Page 122
2) on focus, pages 41 through 48
3) on flash, pages 58 and 59

It is all there. If you can, sit down with your camera and user manual every evening for a couple of hours and work your way through the manual, manipulating your camera so that the controls become very familiar to you. After about the second or third time through the manual, you should have it wired.

If all else fails, call Nikon for specific help 800. NIKON-UX