How to connect nikon d3100 to camera control?

I installed camera control pro 2 and when i connect the camera to the pc it shows up only in my computer. When i open the program it does not recognise it how do i make it recognise

You could make sure it's updated to the latest version but even then.

Nikon doesn't seem to think d3100 users need remote control You could look into these alternatives.
http://www.oxfordeye.co.uk/master/master.aspx
http://www.diyphotobits.com/download-diyphotobitscom-camera-control/

What surprises me, it that you spent $180 on a piece of software before checking to see if it was compatible with your specific camera

http://www.nikonusa.com/...atibleWith

If you wish to tether your dSLR to your computer, you will need to have one of the cameras listed in the above link

You can't tether D3100.It only avilable for high end DSLRS such as D700, D3s.