I have this photo of me from my first day of senior year at HS in my photography class?

It was taken from an expensive nikon camera. It was my first day of photography class and someone else in the class took the picture of me. It would mean a lot if you can help me out a bit by altering the photo by slimming my face and making it look a little thinner and cleaner because this photo is special to me and I was a bit heavy back then. Your help would be highly appreciated. Oh, and the eyes are dark since the photo was taken from a wrong angle? It would be helpful if you can photoshop that by brightening it? Making some changes. Please. Thank you and here's the link.

Not even photoshop would save this photo…
It is terrible.
Just look at that horrible lighting!