Why won't my lenses fit on my Nikon D7000?

I recently upgraded my Nikon D5000 to the Nikon D7000 and I can't figure out why my lenses won't work. I've never needed a lens mount before and I'm wondering if maybe this is my issue. The lenses are significantly smaller. This may be a silly question because I can't find anything online about why they wouldn't fit but I definitely need help!

Added (1).: Definitely sure I didn't buy a Canon. It's very strange and I'm seriously so confused!

Added (2). This is regarding the lens, itself to attach to the body of the camera. I have a AF-S dx Nikkor 35mm f/1.8G specifically in front of me that will not latch on… The point where i go to match up the white dots and twist, and that's not even necessary because it's THAT loose.

They should mount fine. The only lenses that won't mount on the D7000 are the old F lenses that haven't been modified to AI… Which are only manual focus and would be pretty much useless on the D5000 anyways. Are you sure you didn't buy a Canon camera?

Absolutely every lens that works on a D5000 also should work on a D7000.It's just the other way around that some lenses that work on a D7000 won't work on a D5000.

Which particular lenses do you have?

Are you perhaps talking about adapter lenses that are screwed on top of the lens on the camera? Like this?
http://www.abelcine.com/store/image.php?type=P&id=10579
These are not "real" lenses and are dependent on the filter thread size of the camera's proper lens.
Perhaps you had a D5000 with 18-55mm kit lens, which uses a 52mm filter thread diameter. Your D7000 most likely has a 18-105mm lens, which uses a 67mm filter thread diameter. Hence screw on adapter lenses that used to fit your D5000's lens won't fit on this one. These screw on lenses are not proper lenses anyway and i would not recommend using them. They are very bad for the image quality.

Or is it a lens like this that doesn't fit?

Edit:
Ah ok… I'm at a loss to explain that then. Sounds like a manufacturing defect to me.

You need to call Nikon. 800-NIKON-UX.

There's NO reason why your AF-S Nikkor lenses will not fit on your D7000.

I use Nikkor lenses from the 1970's with AI mods and they work just fine as to my AF and AF-S lenses

Does the body's lens mount look the same as the one on the D5000? The only difference between the two should be a small screw sticking out at the bottom left, which is used for auto-focusing old "D" style lenses. If it is significantly different apart from that there's something wrong with the D7000 lens mount.